Oh, that's right, we talk about your love life. We sit with you in class. We know all about that thing you did last night. How do we know? We watch you. We go to those dance clubs with you. We scheme hideous outcomes for you. We know exactly what it is that will get you to our side. We create those wrong friendships you wished you never had. We invite you into those relationships that break your heart. We give you the life you never wanted, but...