Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind

As a targeted parent whose daughter has not spoken with him for the last 5 years, Amy Baker's book, "Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties that Bind" has been the most informational and encouraging book I've read on the P.A.S. topic so far. The reason is simple: This book is comprised of interviews of the KIDS (now adults) who were poisoned, not the parents who were either the alienator or target. It was astonishing to read what these people, who as children were manipulated into hating one of their parents, had to say once they "woke up". Without going into all of the results, let me mention the two most important lessons I learned from these kids: 1. The average length of time it took these kids to "wake up" was 20 years. Yikes! But, at least they woke up. 2. The overwhelming majority had wished the targeted parent tried harder to re-develop the relationship, regardless of how much they were "hated". These two revelations are telling me: "Don't ever give up. Don't ever stop trying". Thanks to Amy for doing this study and writing this book. It could prove to be the most important document I will see until I eventually reunite with my daughter.

There are many articles stating PAS does not exist. None based on research, but advocacy. Yet, as a forensic psychologist, when I go to court, many times I cannot mention the term "Parental Alienation Syndrome" without an objection claiming that it is an "unproven" term. Or, if PAS is accepted, then there is the assertion that the so called Target parent helped to provoke the PAS. I asked forensic psychologists (most of whom did not support Dr. Gardner's views on PAS) to provide MMPI-2s from child custody evaluations, some with PAS some without (controls). I collected 158 MMPI-2s. I asked two professors (Drs. Stoffey and Bottinelli) work on the data coding and statistical analyses. They had no idea of the hypotheses. What we found was that both father and mother alienators were alike in using primitive defenses. Target parents MMPI-2s were the same as the controls. We relied on Bakers research to guide us. We quoted her heavily. She is an outstanding scientist and has contributed to helping children and their targeted parents. Her book will aid researchers and the courts alike. Our study can be viewed at mmpi-info.com An Expert Look at Love, Intimacy and Personal Growth

My husband has been dealing with horrible alienation from his ex-wife for the entire nine years we have been together - although is has gotten much worse over the past two. It becomes very difficult to keep trying with the kids when he and his entire extended family get repeatedly rejected or disrespected. The long term impact on alienated kids as adults is a part of the topic that needed in depth coverage - this book fills that gap. The book is the thing we needed to encourage us to continue the legal fight to help stop or at least try to control the abusive situation the kids are living under.

As a targeted father, I have been waiting for a book like this to be published for the past 5 years. Amy Baker writes about MY life and the frustration I feel at being victimized by an alienating ex-wife that the court system not only refuses to sanction but empowers through its lack of understanding of this syndrome. Amy Baker has described the behaviors that my son exhibits as though she is living inside my home. Through Dr. Baker's astute insight, I am reminded to stay in the struggle, as hard as it is at times, and to give my son unconditional love and understanding, especially when he is least deserving of it, for he is the real victim! Books like Dr. Baker's give hope that one day this syndrome will be understood well enough to be dealt with approriately in the court system so as to insure that all children have the right to a relationship with both parents. For if they don't,the results as indicated in Dr. Baker's book, are tragic. Thank you for giving words to such a big part of my life that is absolutely indescribable!

I'm the "targeted parent" 10 years into a PAS situation. My experience in the late 90s was that the mental health and legal professions were naive at best, dismissive at worst, about parental alienation and its devastating effects on both the child and the targeted parent. Using the experience of 40 interviewees, Dr. Baker describes the syndrome with chilling accuracy. I was particularly interested in the fact that she told the stories of the adult children, as it provided an opportunity to experience my family from my alienated child's perspective rather than my own heartbreak. I think Dr. Baker made some critical points that deserve books of their own: the risk that the alienated child will in turn become manipulative, the higher risk of adult depresssion, the never-ending nature of the targeted parent's grief, and others. The book offers practical suggestions for both the professionals that see PAS (or should see PAS, but don't know what it looks like) and for the victims. This book has earned a place in my permanent library and ought to be required reading for every family practice attorney, family court judge, MFC, LCSW, child psychologist, and family court special master. As a follow-up volume, I'd like to see Dr. Baker address the long-term experience of those she DIDN'T interview: What happens to the adult children who stay alienated?