Absent Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculine Identity

The reviews of this book are very intriguing, and they throw some light on Corneau's approach to pscyhology and myth as well as the readers' desire to gain some knowledge. However, no one has mentioned the important fact that the book was translated from French. Most of Corneau's other publications are in his presumedly native language. Any real understanding of the book would have to begin with reading it in the original version. Many cultural differences and assumptions of the translator would show up in the English language version. The opinions of reviewers might change completely were everyone have the chance to read the French text.

The picture on the cover of this book illustrates exactly how I have felt my whole life. This book has been a great help to me for years, and I wonder why more books like this aren't available; I had searched and searched for that book that described exactly what I was experiencing and how to heal from it, and I had all but given up, concluding that such a book had not been written and that no one else had ever experienced what I have. As "fate" would have it, I would soon stumble across ABSENT FATHERS, LOST SONS. I felt vindicated. I have found other books that have been very helpful for me, but this book feels as though it were written specifically for me. And since others have found this book helpful, I realize that I in fact am not alone in what I have experienced. Guy Corneau has noticed what I have: he opens by saying that males in general have more developmental problems than women, and therefore it is puzzling that more is not being done to help men. Corneau argues that all men live in a kind of hereditary silence and that we fear that any man who speaks out about pain is a threat to male solidarity. The result of not speaking out is that men suffer alone and in silence, and the pain gets channeled in other directions; as Corneau points out, men far outnumber women in the prison systems. Corneau argues that for a man "to not have a father is to not have a backbone," and that the resulting lack of structure often results in anti-social behavior; men with absent fathers (emotionally absent will suffice) often turn to what Corgneau terms the "dark father complex," the clinging to extreme and often violence-based models of masculinity (such is the case with men who join gangs, etc.). Two things that I found very interesting: Corneau argues that men who have not felt close enough to their fathers, will often be insecure in their sexuality and this will often result in them becoming "seducers"; the logic being that if they seduce enough women, and appear in the eyes of society to be "studs," then they will make up for the emptiness and insecurity they feel from never having been "confirmed" by their fathers, i.e., never having felt that their fathers accepted them as men. Corneau says that often when a man thinks he is running low on women, he is actually running low on men. Another fascinating thing is that Corneau argues that "seducer" men are often highly sensitive men who refuse to acknowledge and accept their sensitivity. These issues are described in my favorite chapter of the book, where the author discusses the various roles men find themselves in: the Hero, the Good Boy, the Eternal Adolescent, the Male Feminist, the Seducer, and the Homosexual. Corneau takes us through each of these roles and describes them step-by-step. Corneau argues that homosexual men are often obeying the unspoken command that they should never belong to any woman but their mother. This book has been extraordinarily helpful for me for years now. I don't know wher

This book was the turning point of my life when I realized why I am who I am. It opened a window from where I was able to view my past life like never before. The rich clinical experience and the deep understanding of the patients by the author make this book invaluable to any son who had difficult relationship with his father. To the person from Europe who rated the book poorly: Isn't the Bible supposed to provide you so called Christians all the answers for anything you want? Why even bother reading any other book?

This book was a real eye-opener for me. I've read the whole book in one time with tears of finaly being understand at last. It's a real eye-opener for my mother too!

This book was easy to read without too much psychological jargon, yet it offered many insights to growing up without a stable father figure. It can be very helpful in realizing the sources of many difficulties which adults may face as a result of unresolved conflicts. I highly recommend it