A World Waiting to Be Born: Civility Rediscovered

Well, I have yet to read a book by Dr. Peck that did not leave me grateful. This one is no exception. A dear friend asked me why I read so many Peck books. Is it so that I can gain the needed insight to become a better person? Or is it moreso to be made aware of why I am not that better person already? To be reminded of my failings?My own answer is sort of a variegated gradation of "no" to all of the above, and yet my vague explanations always seem to involve a simple desire for greater awareness. Peck's books are not really "how-to" things, but moreso "why we do" or "here-is-what-happens-when..." and this approach interests me more than "how to."More theoretical than practical, you might say. (Just like me!) This is why I am hooked. This book discusses how we relate to each other in business, family, the workplace, and in the greater society, and is based on the premise that the way we are generally doing it... is sick, and in need of attention/repair. On a linear continuum stretching from psychology to sociology, I would place this book somewhere between his The Road Less Travelled on the former end, and The Different Drum on the latter.The one chapter on vocation is worth it all.Phrase by phrase, let Peck delineate how he comes to his definitive conclusion that "civility is consciously motivated organizational behavior that is ethical in submission to a Higher Power."If those last two words make you feel like you're passing a kidney stone, or perhaps giving birth to a prize-winning pumpkin... relax. Let him explain. It's never as painful as it first sounds.When I suggested above that this book is more theoretical (why) than practical (how-to), I should really clarify that assumption, especially since the latter portions of the book discuss the specific work of the Foundation For Community Encouragement, an organization that literally "teaches" community (civility) to corporations and groups of all kinds, worldwide. Very practical stuff indeed. But what I meant is that even here, the principles that Peck expounds, theoretically speaking, are universally applicable and relevant. The same principles that will save a corporation from ruin will help strengthen a marriage, or cause improved relations between parents and children, or help a single person live a more fulfilled life. Patients would ask Peck "How do I know when to quit therapy?"He would answer "When you have learned how to be your own therapist; when therapy has become a way of life for you." (p.340).I like that answer, and it's why I keep reading and re-reading him.

This is an outstanding book wich touches the core of humanity and the way people interact with one another, and should interact.

Scott Peck researched all of his topics in great detail the way in which he writes this wonderful book. His philosophies are very well expalined in great detail and maybe sometimes with too much detail, but he speaks with very easy to understand words. He not only emphasises on views that are correct to him but he puts forward other philosophers views and ideas, which allow the reader to comprehend and understand views that were not thought possible. It is book that will allow a person to grow mentally and emotionally as they progress through it. I also beleive that it is a life long guide that can help you with many obstacles along the way. It is a wonderful book that really teaches us the paths of human growth.

Peck starts his book with an example followed by a question: a man on an airplane, after talking to a fellow passenger, sees him as a business prospect, excuses himself, checks the man's credit rating, then returns with a drink "for his new best friend." Why, Peck asks, is this wrong? We know something is off the mark here, but can't quite put our finger on it. What isn't right, Peck explains, is that the passenger is really being treated as a "thing" to be exploited, but outwardly is being treated as an intimate friend. The theologian and philosopher Martin Buber, who has greatly influenced Peck, called the first relationship an "I-It" and the second, an "I-Thou." The first is narcissistic, the second, anti-narcissistic. And narcissism, writes Peck throughout this book, is really the problem: people treating others as if they are only "things" there to serve them. That, is a sentence, is the essence of incivility. Being civil doesn't necessarily mean being polite. The man on the airplane was polite, but a hypocrite. Civility means, more than anything else, not being so utterly self-centered that peoples' feelings are never considered. It can at times require forcefulness, even anger, to get the other person to understand. But true incivility, Peck believes, actually is a cause of quite a few divorces, and many problems in business. For those interested in the subject, this book is exceptionally interesting.

Peck's ideas are mature and insightful on civilized and organizational life. He takes the reader into all aspects of organized life including marriage, family, vocation and business. One just needs to turn on the TV and watch a talk show or the news to see the incivility that is rampant in our society today. Peck begins his book by stating that, "Something is wrong...." I agree with his assessment and greatly appreciate his attempts to call us forward toward maturity and curing ourselves. True civility can belong to us. But the responsibilty is ours!