A Push and a Shove

This is a fantastic work of literature. A kind of modern day A SEPERATE PEACE. The main character's of Ben and Terrence are exceptionally fleshed out, and so true....complete with all their insecurities and flaws. It is a story of youth, and how what happens in our youth is interpreted so differently, and how those interpretations influence and guide our later young adult lives. If you are looking for a novel with sex and four letter words, this isn't it. But if you want to totally pleasurable, and thoughtful, reading experience get this book NOW! A totally satisfying literary achievement!

This book tricks you because it starts off as what seems to be a guilty pleasure - a story about some "gaywad" trying to get back at his highschool tormentor. But in the second half, things get much more complex and the story becomes about so much more. I started off hating the protagonist, then at some point I became scared of him, and then I was on his side again. I had the inverse experience with the antagonist. I hated Terrence O'connel, then I felt sorry for him and started to like him, then I hated him again. Every time I thought I had the main characters figured out, a new dimension of them would be revealed and I would feel completely duped! Their dynamic eventually reveals itself to be more dysfunctional and twisted than it initially seems. This story might now seem that edgy or involved at first - but trust me, the second half of the book totally delivers!!!!!

"A Push and a Shove" is an amazing novel about obsession. It's dark and compelling, sometimes scary and always intriguing. And as the obsession became clear and grew deeper, so, too, did my obsession with reading this tormented tale. The story begins with Ben, a seventh grader who realizes inside that he is gay, and Terrence, the class bully who one day arbitrarily calls Ben, unknowingly, a "gaywad," and sets into motion a chain of events that affects each of them for years to come, until, after Terrence moves away senior year of high school, the two meet again in their late 20s. The suspense builds with every page, and as a result, I can't say much more without ruining a great reading experience. What I can say is this is one of the most gripping works of gay fiction I have ever read, and that anyone, gay or straight, who is interested in how one person can become obsessed with another, and the extreme ramifications of such obsession, must read this novel.

Ben Reilly is a 27 year old high school teacher, living in the same Staten Island NY neighborhood where he grew up, mostly to appease his somewhat controlling parents. A student fight triggers flashbacks to his own school days, in which he was the target of bully, Terrence O'Connell, who called him "Gaywad" and announced to everyone that Ben had been "checking him out" while changing for gym class. But Terrence was also the "golden boy" of the class, liked by teachers and students alike ... and Ben had a crush on him, despite the abuse. Now, ten years after Terrence's family unexpectantly moved away after junior year, Ben decides he needs some closure, quits his job and seeks out his former tormentor, with fantasies of torturing him physically as payback for years of bullying. But when he does find Terrence, now a successful journalist, Ben finds he still has a crush on him, and, as they develop an unlikely friendship, starts getting mixed messages from their subsequent friendly meetings that keep his fantasies alive for more. In a skillful and compelling debut novel, Christopher Kelly seems to somewhat channel a "Running With Scissors"-type vibe in detailing his character's dysfunctional childhood, and reluctance to overcome his role as victim, until his repressed emotions boil to the surface and compel him to act. Somewhat suspenseful and disturbing in the realization of Ben's obsessions, it makes an interesting read, and the ending is not what I would have expected. I give it four stars out of five.

Kelly. Christopher. "A Push and a Shove", Alyson Books, 2007. Vengeance Amos Lassen Christopher Kelly makes his debut into the world of literature with "A Push and a Shove" and he does so impressively. His work is elegant and graceful even if the topic about which he writes is not. This novel has suspense and obsession and keeps the reader on the edge of his seat from cover to cover. Ben Reilly is tortured by memories of having been bullied at school and he wants to put those demons to rest. He had been tormented by Terrence O'Connell, an extremely good looking boy, who is now a successful writer living in Manhattan. O'Connell, however, is not at peace with himself; he is seeking his own identity. The two men, once enemies, form a friendship and long hidden motives and hidden secrets are slowly revealed. Kelly paints an intriguing and disturbing portrait of a bully and his victim and his novel shows how hatred when pushed far and hard enough can resemble love and the opposite. He gives us an emotional look at what resides in obsessions and the damage it can cause on both the bully and the one he bullies and on the lover and the loved. This is a complex story and has many layers which moves between past and present with fluidity and as it does, it reveals how the characters, and us, ourselves, keep within the wounds and the crimes of our youth. Ben Reilly is a character who is doubly faceted--we love him and we see him as a psycho. As he narrates his story of closure and the revenge that he uses to get it, we find, ourselves, fearing and rooting for him. He is a strong character who seems to be devoid of character. The way that Kelly examines the nature of the relationship between Ben and Terrence and the consequences when Ben is determined to make the score even between the two, you realize that this is one storyline that you are not likely to forget. The book is a fantasy but like all fantasies it has a basis in truth and that truth is that all of us would like to pay back those who called us names and made fun of our sexuality. We see where hate, love and sexual desire intersect each other and it is a fearsome experience. The truth of the matter is that the novel is very real and expresses what so many of us want to do but choose not to. Kelly's prose mesmerizes and causes us to keep reading until the end and it is rare that this happens in a first book and it speaks to all of us who have felt torment during our formative years. We can use this book as a way of getting back at our own bullies. Many of us experienced homophobia of some kind during our younger days and it hurt so much more then than it does now. Then we had no one; we were alone in the world or at least we thought so and we had no way of fighting back. This never leaves us and Kelly provides us with a way to help us try to forget.