A Private Family Matter: A Memoir

I loved reading this book. The story is moving. Despite the abused Rivas suffered he became a decent and productive man.

This is an incredibly well written book!! It's hard to believe anyone can survive such circumstances and even more impressive is the man Victor turned into. He has overcome terrible abuse to become a loving father and husband. If only everyone who experienced abuse could break the cycle! He goes on to become a national spokesman against violence to help other families and other children like himself. There isn't a boring page in this book, very highly recommended!!

We all grew up in dysfunctional families. But some might be called suicidal rather than dysfunctional. How does a child who starts being beaten when he is fifteen months old grow up to be even sane? How does a child grown up into manhood and break the only pattern he has seen while growing up? Perhaps the answer comes when you see the photograph of the author first holding his own new born son in his arms. He says, "The moment I held Eli in my arms, I knew I could never hurt him the way that my father hurt me." The day you first hold your own new born is a kind of magic day in your life. I remember it well. This is a story of great sadness. This is a story that happens all too often. And all too often the cycle of violence continues from one generation to another. This is also a story of great triumph as the author preports on how he managed to overcome a childhood from hell. This part of the story doesn't happen often enough, it's glorous when it does.

This is one of the most powerful books I've ever read. At first you react with shock, then disbelief, tears, and finally joy as you ride with Victor on his incredible journey. The story is unbelievably compelling - I couldn't put the book down, though some events were so difficult to read about, I wanted to. Victor's father is more than a match for any terrible fathers in past books -- THE GREAT SANTINI, for instance. But what's really amazing, and really moving, is how Victor triumphed over the odds, with the help of his "angels," to become not only a good kid but the school's valedictorian and eventually a good father. It's also great that there this is a lot of information at the end of the book in how to get help if you need it or how to become involved in the movement if you feel so inspired - and after reading this incredibly powerful book, you will.

Victor Rivers displays such courage, both in escaping from the horrible violence his father inflicted on him, and in breaking the cycle with his own child. Every parent should buy this book for their sons; Victor's father is an extreme example, but any kind of emotional or physical abuse is WRONG, and our children need to be taught that being a real man means never, ever resorting to violence.