A Mother's Story

I read this a year or two ago. It touched me very much. How a mother, especially a very famous one, deals with the tragic suicide of her son is heartbreaking. It gave me a bit of insight into how this hideous incident affected both her life as well as that of her equally famous son, Anderson Cooper. (well from Gloria's perspective at least.) A short book, but a very interesting read.

Gloria Vanderbilt's novel isn't about Gloria, it's about Suicide and the aftermath of depression and grief. Even in the ever increasing, unwanted clique of suicide survivors, it's still fairly rare for those who have actually witnessed the suicide of our dearly loved ones to find help for our special sorrow. Suicide of a loved one is hard enough to deal with, but there's a distinctive anguish that must be dealt with when such a disturbing, shocking, and painful life-taking event is witnessed. Such an event separates us from the rest of society in an uncomfortable and agonizing way, and no one could have been more separated from her feelings than the last American Debutante: Gloria Vanderbilt. Raised to be a "lady", to never show strong emotions, to remain in control at all times, Gloria experienced many shattering events, but her "glass bubble" broke when her son committed suicide before her very eyes. Gloria had to break her glass bubble in order to survive, to deal with the overpowering emotion exclusive to survivors of suicide, and she poignantly shares her journey in this heartrending account of her son's life and death. Breaking her "bubble" was a gutsy act, one that perhaps you are facing now. I found strength in her words, and courageousness in her willingness to share her unique pain. Her story is about celebrating her son's life and accomplishments, remembering him as he was before his illness overtook his life, and about her courage to "break the glass bubble" and share her deep, heartfelt emotion and pain in order to help others in spite of her upbringing, which encouraged a lady to bottle up feelings. The stigma attached to suicide, and even those who are left behind, is often crippling. None felt this stigma more than a woman in constant "limelight", a woman of "old money" forced into a strict code of ethics that forbade public displays of emotion, or public displays of weakness. Uneducated people see suicide as a weakness, and apply this not just to the originator but to his/her family in his/her wake. I highly recommend this book for survivors of suicide. If you're looking for courage in this time of great need, please pick up a copy of this book. Also, do a google search for 'suicide survivors', and call your local Crisis Hotline for survivors groups in your area or phone numbers to call. You're not alone. There are groups of real people out there who share your unique pain, please contact them.

Gloria Vanderbilt describes herself as living from earliest childhood in an "unbreakable glass bubble," a sense of being isolated from people because she was unlovable and unworthy, unable to feel deep emotions. Though she knew happiness for the first time with her fourth husband Wyatt Cooper and her sons, she still felt tinges of being cut off from reality. Her husband's death started to crack the unbreakable bubble surrounding her soul, and it shattered completely and forever when she witnessed her son Carter commit suicide, when he was 23. She then was able to feel the deepest pain and guilt, and to acknowledge the boundless joy he had brought to her. She writes in a disjointed manner, flashing back and forth with journal entries and short reflections about events in her life leading up to Carter's death, which she describes in acute detail. Her musings are written to herself and to Carter, except for one chapter in which she reaches out to readers who are dealing with loss; she never imagined she could survive after her son's death, but she did, and given enough time, others will, too. This little book is short enough, and compelling enough, to read in one sitting. Her reflections are deeply personal, and yet universally understood. Kona

This book is an unexpected jewel that was given to me by a friend during a time in my life where I was struggling with myself and my path in life. Everyone can associate with the events and emotions conveyed in this touching account of a mother losing her son. Honest, personal, and moving, the author invites us into a sacred place and shares her tragedy with the world with loving care. At times I felt embarassed, as if I were trespassing into a private and personal memory. It is more than a book about loss and heart ache, it is a book about life.