A Mother's Story

I thought this book was well-written and straight from the heart. I was in high school when the Baby M case was current and, even then, I was stunned that this woman was treated so badly. The experts hired by the Sterns actually said that Mary Beth was an unfit mother because she played "patty-cake" incorrectly, because she bought pandas instead of pots and pans for the child to play with, and because she dyed her hair. It was unbelievable. Now that I am a mother of two small children of my own, I can understand Mary Beth's position even more. She loved her baby, and couldn't part with her after she was born. I admire Mary Beth's courage. She forged a public fight for her daughter even though all the odds were stacked against her. I hope that she has found some happiness. She deserves it.

I recently watched the Baby M mini-series on TV, which got me interested in this case again. And I looked for some up-to-date info online. According to Wikipedia, Melissa Stern (Baby M) had her mother's (Mary Beth Gould, formerly Whitehead) legal rights terminated when she turned of age. And Melissa Stern also had her step-mother (Betsy Stern who was allegedly-infertile) legally adopt her when she turned of age. This fact really interested me because like millions of people, I followed the Baby M case more than 20 years ago, and I remember how hard Mary Beth fought for her baby. Why would Melissa Stern have her mother's right terminated? Didn't she know how much her mother loved her and what her mother did for her? Unfortunately, there hasn't been a compressive book about Baby M (besides "A Mother's Story) nor has there been an updated book about the case published, either. So even though I already read "A Mother's Story" some 15 years ago, I decided to read it again to see if it held any clues. Mary Beth describes her life leading up to her pregnancy with Sara (that was what she originally named her baby.) She also describes how it was impossible for her to part with her own flesh and blood because motherhood meant more to her than anything. After the birth of Sara, selling her to the Sterns was totally out of the question. Mrs. Gould explains how her nursing baby was ripped from her arms by a hateful judge that had zero regard for her baby's well-being. She also details her up-hill battle on winning Sara back, which in turn took its tole on her first marriage. This was one of the most fascinating books I can ever remember reading. It's only 220 pages so I was able to quickly read it in two very quick sittings. How could anyone expect Mary Beth to sell off her baby daughter and to do it with a big smile on her face? If she were your mother would you have still expected her to sell her child? After the NJ Supreme Court reinstated her rights as Baby M's legal mother, Mary Beth then had to fight for custody all over again. Towards the end of the book, I finally found some clues as to why her daughter may have cut her off. When Bill and Betsy Stern took the witness stand at the second trail they were both still as hateful as ever and as indignant as ever. Neither one wanted to share custody with Mary Beth even though she was the obvious better parent, and even though she was declared the legal mother by the NJ Supreme Court, and even though she carried the baby for 9 months; cementing a special bond as the birth mother. I can only imagine that they turned Mary Beth's daughter against her. This is very sad and I hope one day there will be another up-to-date book about this case which would shed some more light because there are very little facts online. Let's call a spade a spade. OK? All Bill Stern had to do was masturbate. And that makes him a father? Gimme a break. It takes a lot more than that to be a father. It takes more than a fancy

When it was playing out in the news and when I saw the movie, I thought that Mary Beth Whitehead was certifiably insane. I cheered when the father won custody and the adoption went through. I pondered about how Mary Beth looked just like Bill Stern's wife. I thought that was funny. When I read this book, my heart went out to Mary Beth. I still believe what she did was wrong --kidnapping the baby and all. But, I now view her much differently, with much compassion. And, I really learned to dislike Mrs. Stern.