A Mother's Grief Observed

I just picked up and read this book that's been sitting on our shelves for a long time, because last week a friend lost a child. Some of the things I liked most about it: * It was written as a journal during the process of grief, not retrospectively, but includes a long epilogue (written three years later) that packages the main lessons the author learned. * It reads as a journal that is honest and transparent. For example, marriage stresses appear, and the sensitive issue of guilt and responsibility for the child's death are discussed (in the epilogue). * While there would be value in reading the journal of anyone who has gone through such an experience, Mrs. Faber's is particularly valuable because her relationship with God is clearly a fundamental and dynamic part of her life and the process of grief from the beginning to the end. * Literary quotes and reflections throughout, from Plato and Dante to Amy Carmichael and Elisabeth Elliott.

Rebecca Flair lost her son in a pool drowning and recounts every painful detail of that day. It's a heartwrenching story, often too unbearable to read at one setting. But she is honest, truthful and painfully poignant about her feelings.What I love about her book, is that she goes through her journal and relives the loss through emotionally raw feelings, then filters it enough to explain to someone else. All too often, grief books are written as though the pain is so little and bearable. Those having experienced such a loss know this to be untrue. That is why books of this caliber are so important, they reach out to those that have truly lost and show them they are not alone. Alyice[....]

In June of 2000 my mother and oldest son were killed in an automobile accident. My world shattered. I went to grief counseling for many months. My counselor recommended that I read books written by other parents who had lost a child. This is one of the first ones I purchased. I found that I had experienced many of the same things this mother had. It helped me so much to understand what my husband, children, and I were going through. This is a wonderful book, and I recommend it highly.

Part of the greiving process is knowing how to help a friend. This book may also help you understand the heartache that a parent goes through and how you can help and support them.

This quote is taken from Rebecca Faber's Great-Aunt in the book (pg.54 in the pb). I am also a parent of a baby who has died in 1992. My journal is somewhat like Rebecca's. I thank her for sharing her families devastating loss. I know that putting this together would have been a struggle for me. Not only is this book a must read for a parent who has lost a child but, one that any family that has loss a loved one. I really liked how she expressed her true feelings without holding back. The poems and qoutes were truely touching and a very special part of this book. I know not all parents grieve in the same way, but I was glad to know that what I was feeling in 1992-1993 (and even at this present time) was in fact something that someone (like Rebecca) can say... I hear you...Your Grief Is Observed! My heart needs that as the " ....shadows fall behind....". Rebecca Faber--My heart is with you and your family and I thank God for this book finding me. I am now reading the suggested books on your list found at the end of your book. Thank you. May God bless this book as it touches those who await to hear a mothers honest journal of a truely emotional journey that never ends.