A Long Retreat: In Search of a Religious Life

This memoir is unique in my experience, in the depth of the author's sharing of his spiritual and emotional lived experience from the time he entered Religious Life to the time he left. I read it as something to be held as sacred, of having been given the privilege to share in the story of a person's intimate faith journey in religious life and the details of his ongoing discernment. I was awed by his trust in opening up his innermost life and beliefs to all who would read this book. I highly recommend it to anyone who cares deeply about discovering more about their own faith journey in reading one man's candid story in his quest to serve God with his life. I can imagine reading it again - and again -as I continue to reflect on my own spiritual path.

A LONG RETREAT is a fascinating look at formation in the Society of Jesus. The title of the book alludes to the Thirty Day Retreat that is a part of the beginning and end of Jesuit formation, but it's also a metaphor for his eight years author Andrew Krivak spent in a Jesuit formation program. We meet him as he is about to begin his journey with the Jesuits and continue with him as he begins his theological studies as he draws closer to priesthood. He discusses the discernment process as he enters the order and also the same discernment process that eventually led him to a vocation outside of the order. Krivak shares a number of experiences and anecdotes about formation with the reader that shows how the writings of St. Ignatius of Loyola and Ignatian spirituality are lived in a day to day context. We also see his initial enthusiasm fro religious life and believe he will persevere as a Jesuit, yet as the book continues, we also begin to see he may be called elsewhere. He also discusses a number of conflicts he has, some rather serious, others trivial, so we always remember we are accompanying someone who is very human. The story contained in A LONG RETREAT is compelling, Krivak tells it in a somewhat poetic manner with beautiful writing. He also writes it in a memoir style rather than a biographical one so the reader enters into his experiences and shares his joys, struggles, and pain. It is also unique in that we hear about the formation process from someone who does not finish with priesthood, and is able to see and share the lessons he learned during his time as a Jesuit. It is also refreshing to read an account of someone who left religious life has his appreciation of both the Jesuits and Catholic Church. While it is not uncommon for a person to have this perspective, all too often the horror stories are the accounts that make it into print which give a somewhat biased and skewed perspective. This is not the case in A LONG RETREAT. If anything, I believe we can expect to see Andrew Krivak become an important Catholic writer.

Wonderful memoir! Very well written and poetically conveyed journey. Clear and aesthetically pleasing in its own distillation of the lifestyle and ritual, but also containing many subtle themes which seem to cut across many religious cultures and spiritual journeys. Krivak has written an unassuming and honest story. There is no arrogance of certainty which other authors sometimes seem to portray. Krivak's story is believable and passionate. Thoroughly enjoyed from beginning to end and would recommend to anyone inclined to spiritual connection and understanding, whether religious or not.

I must admit I like books about people who embark on vocations, religious and otherwise. So no surprise that I wanted to read this book. I've met a few Jesuits, including one enrolled in my doctoral program many years ago (he dropped out the first year) and one who (I suspect) was asked to leave. This book is less about a spiritual journey than a detailed, blow-by-blow account of life in the contemporary post-Berrigan Jesuit order. Frankly, the life seems mostly pleasant, or else the author had such a strong vocation he rolled with the punches. And it's likely the arduous selection process worked. I must admit I skimmed some of the spiritual angst and introspection sections, but there really weren't very many. Krivak tells a story of very smart, sane superiors, some really satisfying friendships, and meaningful work experiences. Except for some bad food here and there (and escape to the local steak house often was possible), and an uncomfortable bed or two, I didn't get a sense of hardship. Sure, he didn't get his first choice of teaching jobs, but to be able to teach English and writing at all would be a rare privilege for many professors and doctoral candidates out there. Since the jacket blurb refers to Krivak's new life as husband and father, it's probably not giving away the store to say that he ultimately fell in love and left the order. As his wife noted, he seemed to be more interested in writing and less in being a Jesuit. I see parallels between his life and the life of Karen Armstrong. I believe both made wise decisions to enter religious orders (call it a true vocation if you like). Both went on to use their experiences to build new lives and careers. Armstrong of course calls herself a "freelance monotheist" while Krivak, at least by the end of the book, remains firmly Catholic. With my own interest in career patterns and shifts, I enjoyed watching Krivak as he went on the journey.

Andrew Krivak's eight-year journey into, through, and out of the life of a Jesuit seminarian is captured in a memoir of poignancy, generosity, and spectacularly wonderful writing. He details with great honesty and sustaining intelligence the external challenges of his formation in the Society of Jesus (graduate philosophical studies, hospital work with AIDS patients, Russian language study in Moscow, and college teaching among other experiences). But, even more importantly, Krivak testifies with conviction about the movements of his own heart and soul as he struggled with the nature of his calling, the meaning of love, and his efforts in prayer and meditation to discern the full dimensions and import of his doubts and fears. One of the most remarkable spiritual autobiographies since Merton's SEVEN STOREY MOUNTAIN. An utterly captivating volume. I expect to read it again simply to savor the extraordinary beauty of the writing once more. (Disclosure: As a Jesuit myself, I knew Krivak during two years covered in this book. But, I've had no contact with him in over a decade and didn't quite know what to expect before picking up A LONG RETREAT. I'm so happy I did.)