A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother

I was not familiar with Ms.Cusk's work prior to reading this book. I am a new mother and A Life's Work was recommended to me. Her voice is one that is not heard in books about motherhood. My thougths echoed in her words. Pregnancy and motherhood has been humbling, humiliating and exhausting. I love my daughter but I never could have anticipated the emotional journey I was embarking on. Rachel Cusk does not put a pretty pink wash on everything. It is a clean true voice. I recommend this book to any woman trying to find where she has gotten lost in her life.

It would be an understatement to say that I love this book. I have found in Cusk's voice a place that I can rest in. My son, now five, is amazing, but my own birth as a mother was frought with questions, uncertainty, loneliness. Oh how I wish I had found this book. As I read I am brought back to the early days of motherhood. I cried when I read that once her daughter's colicky cries ended she realized her baby had gone through yet another birth. And what mattered was not how well Cusk performed her mothering duties - but that she had been there throughout her daughter's crying and pain. She realizes that this presence above all is ultimately what it means to be a mother. Motherhood is so polticized - just look at the reviews here - and Cusk is a breath of fresh air in a landscape of literature the is overly sentimental and awash in banality. She perfectly portrays how judgemental we are about mothers. It's a damned if you do damned if you don't world. I love reading stories of moms who triumphed. Of course the book is stream of consciousness - it perfectly mimics the experience of early motherhood when time itself is not linear any longer and you no longer know who you are. I loved her forays into literature - it's as if her struggle to integrate these two aspects of herself is laid bare for all of us to see - and I would hope sympathisize with. Literature is her scripture that she uses to make meaning and to find her place in the world of mothers. She said in the beginning to the book - that she was not going to write about her husband. So I was not surprised that she didn't mention him often. This is a book for those who are thoughtful reflective and willing to be open and honest about this most amazing yet challenging experience of motherhood. It's not for the faint hearted, but neither is motherhood.

This book is a well written account of the feelings of having a child enter your life. It is not a guide, not an inspirational work, etc. Rachel Cusk describes how life-changing it was for her to have a new baby. It will upset some readers because she does not fill the book with sentimental descriptions of new baby smell, etc. Many of the details were easy for me to relate to ...like realizing that for parents with children there simply are no more "weekends". I would recommend this to all potential moms who really want to know how it might be.

Rachel Cusk is the first writer I know of to describe how disorienting it is to become a mother. She doesn't complain, but she articulates the strangeness of the experience and brought back vivid memories for me. Learning to nurse is a challenge -- it only LOOKS natural! Like her I had a colicy baby, which everyone treats as if it is a benign condition while you as the mother are faced with a fiercely inconsolable child. She describes the oddness of arriving home from the hospital with the baby, a new person totally dependent on you, and looking around at your home that encompasses your former life, the life that is gone forever. And the common feeling pre-baby, that life will continue as it is and the baby will fit in, is shown as it changes, as Rachel can't leave her child for an evening out without calling so often that she is finally forced to return home to her screaming child.When a mother says, "Why doesn't anyone tell you what it's really like?" she should be given this book.

I couldn't wait to read this book because 1) I really enjoy Rachel Cusk's novels and 2) I had just become a new mother.I was not disappointed--Rachel tells it like it is. She talks about all the difficult and ambivalent feelings of becoming a mother that most of us have kept to ourselves. The regret and the irrationality, the pride and protectiveness, the "out of body" experience that nobody can prepare you for--Rachel describes it all. With a great sense of humor and humanity, this book helped me make sense of my own experience of new motherhood.