A Judge's Guide to Divorce: Uncommon Advice from the Bench

After reading all the others books, this is one of the books that I recommend. Very precise and help me quite a bit in my divorce process. It let me know that personal anger/feelings shd be subsided and help me to focus on my objectives and goal in the divorce process.

After reading Judge Roderic Duncan's book, I was compelled to track him down by phone just to thank him for a book that needed to be written. While mothers, fathers, lawyers, mediators, collaborative professionals, counselors and mental health providers all have varied opinions about what divorcing couples should and should not do, it is easy to forget that in court only "One Person's" opinion really matters. When such a qualified and well respected judge shares all, in such a frank and candid manner, you know you are in for a good read. I think that the tone of the book is set out well in the foreword where Judge Duncan states: The disturbing thing that I learned as a divorce court judge is that most people getting divorced know very little about the legal side of the process that often controls their finances, the custody of their children, and the ownership of their homes, their automobiles, and their investments. And very many of these people - some represented by lawyers, some not -- stumble through the divorce maze, making mistakes that cause the process to be more expensive, time-consuming, and painful than it need be. Not surprisingly, most come away unhappy with their experience." As a family law attorney, mediator, collaborative lawyer and author of Stop Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations, I can certainly attest to those observations. One message from A Judge's Guide to Divorce: Uncommon Advice from the Bench is that you really "win" your case by avoiding contested litigation except as a true last resort. Since well over 90 percent of contested cases settle before trial, usually right before trial, why is all the nonsense leading up to trial necessary. Furthermore, when children are involved, it sure isn't over after court. Post-divorce conflict is far more likely in cases that actually go to trial then in cases where there has been an amicable, or at least acceptable, resolution well in advance of trial. While the book is replete with excellent legal guidance, the chapters that I found most meaningful where "Stay Out of Court if You Can" "Consider Alternatives to Divorce Court" "Settle Child Custody and Visitation Issues Sanely" "Get on with Your Life" and perhaps most importantly, in my humble opinion, was the chapter, "Don't Get Hung Up on Fairness." What great advice! Although it may sound ironic coming from a judge, the sooner people realize that cases are not decided on ones's subjective views of "fairness," the better prepared they may be to explore alternative dispute resolution methods such as mediation and collaborative law. Another thing that Judge Duncan reminds us is that Judges are people too. They make mistakes and many of them dread being assigned to family court. If you let a judge, a virtual stranger in a black robe, make your decision for you after reading this book, you have no one to blame but yourself (unless, you truly want to resolve your case in a reason

Most keys to understanding legal divorce come from lawyers, but this is different: it comes from a judge who has seen it all, and who has a vested interest in keeping courtrooms from becoming circus acts. The focus is on how to reach your own agreements outside the courtroom, as well as how to make any court proceeding as civil as possible. Judge Duncan presided over thousands of divorce cases in some twenty years as a judge, and his guide is crucial to understanding the options and processes involved. Any general interest library will find it an important lend. Diane C. Donovan California Bookwatch