A Gentleman Raises His Glass: A Concise, Contemporary Guide to the Noble Tradition of the Toast

Two Nashville gentlemen who have mastered the task of teaching men to be gentlemen without coming across as stuffy wrote this splendid little volume on the art of the toast. As in the rest of the Gentlemanners books, John Bridges and Bryan Curtis set a tone that is not framed by rules but by consideration for others and deference to those who ought to be in the limelight of a special occasion. The book uses a comparative method. On the left of each set of two pages is presented an appropriate toast for a named occasion. On the right is the kind of words that ought to be avoided in the same venue. The result is a kind of training primer that does not so much offer boilerplate language as it does develop in the mind of the reader a sensitivity towards propriety. This reviewer highly recommends this book to anyone, man or woman, who may be called upon to say a few special words at any number of public occasions and who would like to acquit himself or herself with both polish and appropriate deference. I trust the movers behind the Gentlemanners series will continue their production apace.

This tiny book is large in its potential to help you acquit yourself well when the occasion calls for a toast. You find out what a Gentleman would do (in a somewhat exaggerated way that reminds me of my 5th grade ballroom dancing class) with a slight tongue in cheek. But the advice is basically sound: A gentleman "just says what's in his heart and lets the party proceed." The book offers "simple guidelines . . . not to be taken as strict rules . . . or as rigid models . . . ."The introduction begins with key guidelines about when, where and how to toast. Some of them aren't quite explained (like why you should not toast before noon and not use a coffee cup), but then etiquette never did make perfect sense. The heart of the book comes in 40 sample toasts for typical life situations (marriages, anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, holidays, religious events, and work situations). You could easily take any of these and redo it to fit your situation. Some of these are not as usual such as the "Not-So-Happy-Closing of a Business," "Lesbian or Gay Friends upon their Commitment Ceremony," "Religious Leader Retirement," and "Successful Candidate to Supporters and Staff." To me, the best parts of these toasts were examples of what not to do. These were hilarious. I won't quote any, but this book is worth it just for the humor in those examples! What they have in common is giving someone a little back of the hand in the toast. This behavior is usual among male friends, but can lead to serious hurt feelings on important occasions. Although this book is designed for Gentlemen, I think most women would find the advice to be helpful for when they are expected to raise a glass and utter the appropriate words. Interspaced among the sample toasts are bits of history (toasting was a way to show your guest that the wine wasn't poisoned and the Romans put toast in their wine to help get rid of impurities), other guidance (like responding to a toast, being a toastmaster, and how to toast as a teetotaler), and the right way to clink glasses (and especially what to do if your glass shatters).Of special interest to many will be the classic, brief toasts that work for any occasion and a list of classic Irish toasts for those who are Irish or have Irish friends, relatives or acquaintances.I've been in many situations where toasting was stressful. This book would have saved me on every one of those occasions while allowing me to acquit myself better than I did with my "original" efforts. After you finish enjoying the book, take a friend, loved one or colleague out to lunch or dinner . . . and make a toast from the heart!