A Certain Chemistry

Everyone has found this guy via the website http://www.mil-millington.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/ which has cost all employers in the world several billion dollars in lost productivity due to an average time waste per viewer of approximately 4.6 hours, times 3.8 million hits! Quick witted, off the wall humour, by someone who dyes his hair shocking red, and has a wonderful relationship with a woman he obviously adores, but whom he victimizes in his work on line and in print. He has 2 books... this, and one of the same name as his original website, www.thingsmygirlfriendandIhavearguedabout.com. You will be hard pressed to get anything done after opening the books, or the website. Be warned.

As a big fan of "Things My Girlfriend and I Argued About," I was eager to read Mil Milington's latest, "A Certain Chemistry." I wasn't disappointed. His latest effort is just as clever and amusing as his first. I read this from start to finish on a plane, and laughed so hard that I'm fairly certain my fellow passengers thought I was derranged. This is a must-read!

I think Mil Millington's website is hilarious but was deeply disappointed by his first book. It held few laughs and wasn't very interesting. I almost didn't read "A Certain Chemistry" because I questioned his ability to create and drive a strong and/or humorous narrative and sustain it for an entire book. However, the site is so funny that I gave him the benefit of the doubt and read "Chemistry." I'm glad I did because it is hands down the best book I've read in ages. From what seems like nowhere, Millington hits us with a novel that is honest, funny, insightful, and devastating. His characters at first seem simple - a collection of traits, perhaps. But they're so skillfully manuevered that they somehow seem no less real than anyone we might know. The dialogue and prose snap, and though you can see where the story is headed a mile away, or perhaps because of that, the events that transpire and Millington's handling of them are both at once horrifying and irresistable. If only every book I read was this good.

"A tiny eternity." Mil uses that phrase within the first couple pages of the book to describe a pause in conversation. I was hooked from that point on. His wry English wit may be a bit confusing to the uninitiated, but to those familiar with his web page he has a way in his writing of capturing the excrutiating experience that it is to be human. Though he and I live on opposite sides of the globe and are likely absolutely nothing alike, Mil's writing is accessible to me in a sort of everyman way. He manages to shed light on a lot of those little personality quirks that most of us have but would rather not talk about, and he does it in a way that makes us almost not mind the subject being brought up, and his characterizations are so over the top that they can't help but make you think of someone you know who is just like that! He has mastered the art of the snowballing situation and his characters, while seemingly making the most ludicrous choices imaginable, always seem to make the right choice given the outrageous circumstances. I can see myself in some of the situations his characters get into and I think that is one of the signs of great talent in an author. Anyway, while this book is certainly more difficult to read than Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About because of its more serious subject, it is still laced with Millington's trademark off the wall humor and wry observations on life. I found myself caught up in the protagonist's excitement at the prospect of, first, a lot of money, then a lot of money and a new love affair. I laughed out loud as he feebly tried to carry on two love lives at once. Then, when it all inevitably came crashing down, I winced and maybe even shed a tear as he did his penance. I don't know for certain why the author decided to write this type of novel, but despite the light hearted humor and even the apologetic narration from God ("I'm sorry, but this is just human nature! I guess I didn't really know what I was getting you into."), the story is really an allegory on why infidelity just really isn't worth it when all is said and done. It's fun to read but it's got a lot to think about in those pages as well.

llington's debut, Things My Girlfriend and I Argue About, is one of the funniest books I've ever read, so it was with some trepidation that I picked up his followup. I'm pleased to report that although it's not quite as genius as his debut, it is still exceedingly funny, and has a bit more depth to it. Tom is a slacker in his late 20s, living in Edinburgh with his long time girlfriend, and working as a freelance writer and sometime ghostwriter. When he is given the opportunity to handle the autobiography of a hugely famous soap opera star, his world is turned head over heels as he falls deeply into the cliche of the writer falling for the star. We've all read book and seen films about a nobody and a superstar engaging in a furtive affair, what's amazing is that Millington manages to keep it fresh and lively. Tom is appropriately insufferable as he cheats on the woman he loves to indulge in fantastic, room-destroying sex with the appropriately charismatic and alluring star. All of which raises the uncomfortable question of how any person might react if a charming, interesting, and beautiful star made a pass at them? Of course Millington's got a trick up his sleeve, and that trick is a running commentary between chapters by God. Yes, God with a capital G. And the news God has to deliver has to do with the chemistry of the title. These often-hilarious narrative monologues by God are where Millington explains how chemistry works in relation to love and sex. This is fascinating stuff, and the one weakness is that it's delivered in such a hilarious way that the serious implications can be overlooked. Indeed, I'm going to go back and read just those sections in order to understand them better, because they clearly have major implications on how one views relationships, fidelity, love and passion. Almost lost amidst all the hilarity is a rather good satire of the publishing industry, as agents, publishers, and publicity heads are all skewered mercilessly as the ghostwritten celeb book is nursed to completion and launched. Some of the supporting cast are perhaps a little over the top (the hypochondriac editor, the ice queen publicity superstar, the boozy agent), but it is a comic novel, so some licence must be given. Of course, not lost in all this, is the fact that Tom is trying to have his cake and eat it to. And there's little doubt that he will get his just dessertsófor his excellent girlfriend is no fool, and he's too much of an idiot to sustain any kind of elaborate deception. The template for these types of comic stories are that after much trial and tribulation, a chagrinned sinner will eventually win back the hand of his true love. I won't reveal what happens here, but I will say that it is exceedingly satisfying and strikes just the right note. A wonderful second novel that definitely demonstrates that Millington is no one-hit wonder.