A Celibate Season

... married or not. I think reading this book two+ years ago might have saved a wonderful relationship with a man from South Africa. But we have a second chance ... we are together again now, I will think of this book the next time we cross hemispheres and time zones and cultures.

This books' entire narration takes the form of correspondence between geographically separated spouses, a perspective both unusual and infrequently utilized . The format's success is evidenced by the fact that we come to care about these characters and the fate of their marriage. The Bridget Jones books showed us how reading a series of diary entries could endear us to their author. 84 Charring Cross Road, by Helene Hanff, an earlier book written in letter format kept the reader at a distance, failing to achieve the depth of characterization and emotional involvement this book does achieve so successfully and so naturally. The novel explores the effects of a prolonged separation on a long term marriage . We watch the strain imposed by distance as we see the two main characters gradually grow apart and lead separate individual lives. We regret the mistakes we watch them make . They both long for their infrequent rendezvous which when they do finally occur, only tend to split them further apart. Not enough is done to bridge the gaps when they do meet. Each tryst is anticipated with a big build up. Each meeting resolves with a very embittered and disappointed let down, subsequently generating intense anger. Intimacy suffers as each spouse fails to remain emotionally involved and supportive of the geographically distant partner`s evolving and progressively unfamiliar life. One spouse is exploring new territory as a career woman; the other as house husband and eventually small business owner. They seem uncaring and disinterested in each other's new ventures and personal growth, somehow expecting their spouses to remain constant while they themselves undergo changes. When Chas faxes his wife a note which hardly contains his excitement over the publication of his poem , his new creative and expressive outlet, Jock (the wife) chooses to withhold comment in her next letter, completely ignoring his accomplishment . In fact not only does she fail to show the poem to her colleague, who coincidentally happens to be a renowned and published poet, but far worse, her indifference extends to an insensitive admission of having lost it. Chas is reduced to begging her for acknowledgment of his success. Compliments, as he will soon discover, come naturally from the other women in his daily life. Both partners learn to turn to others in closer proximity for emotional comfort and approval as they drift further and further apart. When Chas builds a solarium in their house it seems that he receives praise from every one-everyone except Joc. Her disapproval seems to largely stem from his deliberate failure to involve her in any way in the major decision of renovating their house,. He erroneously chooses instead to surprise her. The result will be to further effect Joc's feelings of alienation.. When she visits, she comes to feel like a stranger in her own home. Their initial correspondence is full of longing for reunion. Later the

This was one of the most insightful, comic and well-written books I've read in a long time. Perhaps it is the life stage I'm at but no, I think the brand of wry humor intermingled with thought-provoking observations about marriage, middle age, career, sex, and children would be engaging to anyone. I love the idea these two authors corresponded with each other as their characters such that the evolution of the story took place almost in real time with an element of fluidity and spontaneity that only this format could achieve. Many of the characters' observations made me laugh out loud while others left me waxing on a thought for days. Excellent, excellent, excellent, don't miss this one.

I did love this book--just finished and was curious to see what others thought. I think the two-author "letters" format worked well, and in some humorous cases, it almost seemed as if the authors were each trying to outdo each other in character. At the same time I found great depth and truth in the letters and the insights they provide into marriage, growth, change, separation, and general observations about gender differences.

a unique and fun read! cleverly written in the form of a seperated husband and wife, this book moves the plot along quickly. i loved it! it is a shame it wasn't longer, as it was a private peek into a marriage that showed 'warts and all'. read it this summer...you'll pass it on!