A Caregiver's Survival Guide: How to Stay Healthy When Your Loved One is Sick

When a family health crisis hits, the focus shifts to that particular person. Daily trips to the hospital or detailed medical care becomes the priority. Kay Marshall Strom has written A CAREGIVER'S SURVIVAL GUIDE, HOW TO STAY HEALTH WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS SICK (InterVarsity Press). Kay knows first hand the struggles of such a situation. Over a period of ten years, her husband, Larry, went from a business manager at a major corporation to severe dementia and the progressive loss of the use of his arms and legs. For the last four years of his life, he was in a nursing home because he was too dangerous for Kay to care for at home. In a crisis, the caregiver is rarely addressed and this book meets a special need. As Kay says, "Struggling blindly wears out the human spirit. Knowing what to expect, and when and where to go for help, makes the journey bearable. Accepting God as the first and primary "resource" brings blessing out of disaster." This book helps caregivers cope with the emotional roller coaster, fitting into their new role, discovering the balance between personal care and care for the loved one, handling life with limited resources and letting go. The appendices for the book include a nursing home checklist and additional resources. As Joni Eareckson Tada writes in the foreword for the book, "Kay has experienced a lifetime of lessons and has catalogued invaluable insights to pass along to other caregivers." The book is a careful mixture of personal-been-there experience, practical checklist type advice as well as a dependence on God to meet our needs.

I am full-time caregiver to my mother who suffers from multiple system atrophy. She had rapidly declined just in the past year, but no one knows how long she will hang on. When I first left my job to take care of her, I bought Ms. Strom's book but, after skimming through it, thought it would be the same old, same old. Eight months later, I picked it up again and couldn't put it down. It validated everything I'd been feeling (guilt, fear...) but, more importantly, it helped me understand better what my mom is going through. Ms. Strom's life with her husband as he grew sicker is heart wrenching and terrifying. But she proved that it can be done, done well, and with great love. And yes, it brought me to tears.

Almost 20 years ago, I lost my first wife to colon cancer. I wish I'd known then what I've learned from Kay Marshall Strom's excellent "Caregiver's Survival" book. Like many people suddenly caught up in the role of caregiver, I was unprepared mentally, physically, and emotionally for the role. I did my best then, but it was far short of what I could have done for her, for the children, and for myself--had I only known. My hope now is that this book will find its way to where it's needed: to those facing the prospect of providing the primary care for a loved one in failing health, so that this extremely painful journey can be made more tolerable by Ms. Strom's tender, Christian insights and advice. She connects to the reader by laying bare her own doubts and hardships in more than 7 years of caring for her terminally ill husband. Her book is filled with the dignity, respect, and hope that, through God's inspiration, can be developed in even the most hopeless of cases.

I can't imagine having the audacity to give a one-star review to a book you haven't even read. Yes, this book does have a definite Christian point of view. All books have a point of view. That's the reason for editorial descriptions and back of the book blurbs--they tell you where the particular work is coming from. Actually, I would describe myself as a liberal Christian, yet I found Strom's book to be exceedingly helpful, scripture quotes and all. Some were really comforting. Others were not particularly helpful to me, so I simply skipped over them. But the best thing was the information Strom packed into that book. It was more than I had hoped for. And coming from her own experience made it so alive, relevant and moving; more than once it brought me to tears. I just wish the former reviewer had taken the time to read the book. He or she may well have found that everything Christian isn't bad after all.

I am currently suffering from liver cancer. Although I am doing pretty well so far, I bought Strom's book for my husband who will end up being my caregiver. I even wrote suggestions in the margins for him (people to call on for respite for help, etc.) I hate to think of what is ahead for me, but it is a bit easier knowing my husband has a guide that I have been able to personalize. Bless you, Kay Marshall Strom. I wish I could give your book 10 stars!