10 Best Gifts for Your Teen: Raising Teens with Love and Understanding

Well written, organized, and an important read for frustrated parents trying to do the best they can. It's a bittersweet time watching my son go through this stage in his life. "10 Best Gifts..." has helped me realize that his moody, sulking, "Aw Mom!", "Whatever!" moments should not be taken too personally. The kid who used to love his mom to pieces probably still does. And now, more than ever, he needs me to be on top of my parenting skills. This book will give you the strength and wisdom to do just that.

The Sasos have written a terrific guide for parents wading through the muddy waters of raising teens. As a high school guidance counselor, I have recommended this book to many parents, and have had great response both from the parents and their teens. A great way to narrow down the point of conversation with your teen and make some mutually agreeable progress. Teens feel respected by the way this book characterizes their needs. Parents feel supported in their need to find common ground with their teens. I highly recommend this book to anyone who works with teens.

If you want to know something about raising teens, read this book! Patt and Steve Saso have written a wise and perceptive guide for parents who are trying to maintain loving and vital relationships with their teen-aged children. As a teacher of high-school students for the past 15 years, I have been asked to read and evaluate dozens of books which attempt to "explain" the behavior of adolescents or provide a means of "controlling" what they do. The Sasos have made it clear that these attempts will always fail because they miss the point. With many examples gleaned from long experience, they show convincingly that our task as parents and teachers is not to control but, rather, to do the sometimes painful work of building solid relationships with young persons based on respect and nurtured over time with love and care. There is no other way. For the honesty and truth in this book, I thank them.

Steve and Patt Saso have focused on the work that parents need to do, both within themselves and with their teens, to approach parenting of teens with effectiveness and compassion. Drawing on widespread experience with teens and family life, the Sasos identify the lessons and gifts that parents can uniquely offer their children. Their suggestions are both practical and profound. As a father of four, ages 7-14, this book helped me remember how much I want the best for my kids and what I need to do to make that happen. This book's primary value is that it does not depend on changing the teenager, nor does it collapse into putting all of the responsibility (and guilt!) on the parent; rather, it's about changing the relationship. Parents of children of all ages will be encouraged by the Sasos' insights. This book makes for a greatly appreciated gift.

The first time I came across Steve and Patt Saso was at a seminar they were giving on parenting. The clearest thing I remember from that seminar was that these two parents, with all their experience dealing with their own children and others' children and others who have children, was that their kids could still catch them off guard and cause them to not make the perfect response to a situation. Patt also taught us her favorite mantra (It's not my fault. It's not my fault) for dealing with teens reluctant to tell their parents what the parents wanted to hear as a response to a question, like "How was school today?" This same honesty comes through with the teaching in this book. It is one of the things that gives me hope as a parent, namely that I'm never going to be a perfect parent, and that I don't have to be a perfect parent.The 10 gifts are not quick cures. They require work and change on our part as parents. Just like developing any relationship. This book is not a cure for what ails you and your family. It is a process, a way of living with others.The 10 gifts that the Sasos describe in their book are good gifts to give anyone. And as they point out, teens especially need these gifts because they are transitioning from very dependent to very independent. Not only do they need good role models, they also need to work out their own paradigms for dealing with life. Along with this, they need to know what works for other people, so that they can adapt some of it to their own unique selves.Growing up, my parents didn't know any more about parenting than I used to know while raising my kids. Not only do I wish I had read a book like this years ago, I know that I would have liked for my own parents to have read and applied a book like this.