Leaving the Nest?

Books for parents and kids who are making the leap to college life

By Ashly Moore Sheldon • August 15, 2023

Leaving home to go to college represents a massive upheaval for our kids. But it's also a huge transition for us! Parents typically experience a lot of anxiety during the months leading up to their children's departure. They often feel a sense of profound loss during the first weeks (or even months) with an emptier nest. They may also struggle with worries about their child's safety or ability to care for themselves in their new environment.

If you are on the cusp of this life-changing leap, here are some books and tools that may help you (and your kids) navigate the seismic shift.

For parents

The Campus Cure: A Parent's Guide to Mental Health and Wellness for College Students
In today's landscape of growing pressures, college students are experiencing increasing incidences of mental health issues. As a college psychiatrist for over two decades (and mother to two adults), Marcia Morris offers the tools to guide your child toward health and happiness in the college years.

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and her own insights as a mother and a college dean. Parents will find practical guidance for cultivating resilience, resourcefulness, and self-reliance in their kids, from toddlers to twenty-somethings.

Release My Grip: Hope for a Parent's Heart as Kids Leave the Nest and Learn to Fly
Saying goodbye to a child may usher in an emotional time of grief, joy, and nostalgia. Often humorous and always honest and hope-filled, this guide from blogger Kami Gilmour offers spiritual inspiration and practical insight for gleaning faith and comfort during this sacred season of parenthood.

The Naked Roommate: For Parents Only
If your child is going off to college, there's a surprise around every corner—but that doesn't mean you can't be prepared! College transition expert Harlan Cohen delivers the best advice, facts, stats, tips, and stories from parents, students, and experts across the country. There's also this guide for the kids!

You're on Your Own (But I'm Here If You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years
Many parents feel enormous pressure to stay connected to their college-age kids, but they also need to know when to let go. Marjorie Savage, a parent and student services professional, helps parents identify the boundaries between appropriate involvement and respect for their child's independence.

Barbara & Susan's Guide to the Empty Nest: Discovering New Purpose, Passion & Your Next Great Adventure
Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates are seasoned empty nesters, and they know firsthand the ups and downs, the uncertainty and challenges that accompany this new stage of life. They offer practical advice and biblical guidance, along with inspiring personal stories about how to thrive in your empty nest.

Grown and Flown: How to Support Your Teen, Stay Close as a Family, and Raise Independent Adults
Kids are constantly changing and how we parent them must change, too. But how do we stay close as a family as our lives move apart? Lisa Heffernan and Mary Dell Harrington, cofounders of a thriving online parent community for parents of young adults, offer this handy guide offering support and perspective.

When Your Kid Goes to College: A Parents' Survival Guide
Carol Barkin offers comprehensive and accessible advice for teaching your child how to live on his own, helping your household deal with the transition, and how to fill (and even enjoy) the hole that your child's absence leaves. Saying goodbye isn't the end of the world; it's the beginning of an exciting new adventure!

The Stressed Years of Their Lives: Helping Your Kid Survive and Thrive During Their College Years
From leading child and adolescent mental health experts B. Janet Hibbs and Anthony Rostain, a guide for the parents of every college and college-bound student who want to know what's normal mental health and behavior, what's not, and how to intervene before it's too late.

For kids

How to Win at College: Surprising Secrets for Success from the Country's Top Students
How can you graduate with honors, choose exciting activities, build a head-turning resume, and still have a life? Based on interviews with star students at universities nationwide, Georgetown professor Cal Newport presents seventy-five simple rules that will rocket you to the top of your class.

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?
Not just for college students, this book by clinical psychologist Julie Smith provides skills to navigate common life challenges and take charge of your emotional and mental health. Her expert advice and powerful coping techniques help readers build resiliency, manage anxiety, and build self-confidence.

Goodnight Dorm Room: All the Advice I Wish I Got Before Going to College
While this cute, humorous volume by Keith Reigert and Sam Kaplan might not provide the most detailed advice, it offers basic tips for new college students who may be too busy or distracted to read a more intensive guide. It also makes a great goodbye gift!

10 Steps to Earning Awesome Grades (While Studying Less)
Becoming a more effective learner and boosting your productivity will help you earn better grades—but it'll also cut down on your study time. This short, meaty book by Thomas Frank teaches you how to master ten critical steps including: Take more effective notes, Plan like a general, Write better papers, etc.

The 5-Ingredient College Cookbook
College students don't typically have a ton of time, money, or kitchen space to get fancy with their meals, which means good, quick, and cheap is the name of the game. This cookbook by Pamela Ellgen offers more than 100 fresh, tasty recipes that only take 30 minutes to throw together, and only require 5 main ingredients.

The main thing to remember is that the more you know about what to expect in this transition, the less you'll fear it. Both parents and kids can look at this phase as a new adventure, an opportunity to explore and grow. Above all, breathe deep and remember to take care of you.